RGSOAS Advent Calendar: #18

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It’s my football predictions for 2013!

* Stewart Downing will join the army.

* Leon Osman’s pop career will finally get off the ground when he joins Erasure.

* Robert Green will continue lying to his accountant, and will find himself in severe trouble.

* The crabapple is a lovely fruit. Expect more Premiership clubs to harness its nutritional value.

* Tim Krul will fail to have sexual intercourse for an entire calendar year.

* Brian Eno will still have absolutely nothing to do with football.

* In an effort to break the monotony of Sloop John B, football fans will begin singing their favourite footballers names to the catchy tune of Clive Dunn’s ‘Granddad’.

* Chris Powell’s hiccups will finally stop.

* Neil Lennon will notice that a tile in his kitchen has come loose. He’ll get an estimate before deciding to have a go himself, but will still end up getting someone in.

* Michael Carrick will make no friends.

* Jack Wilshere’s uncle will pop round to borrow the Argos catalogue.

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