Irreverent football bloggers, much like crime and poor people, never take a holiday. It’s not uncommon, however, for some of them to go away for a birthday weekend. And so it is that I, Ruud Gullit Sitting On A Shed, celebrate the continuation of a life as yet uninterrupted by death’s grim hand. Here I shall share with you my friend Rob’s greatest contribution to history – the Ruud Gullit Drinking Game.
With yours truly crudely dressed up to resemble ol’ RG himself – thankfully without any controversy-baiting blackfacing – we played a game that involved a rule sheet, a deck of cards and a big bag full of Panini Euro 2012 stickers. As myself and my group of well-wishers stumbled among the watering holes of Cardiff, we would each take a turn to pick both a card and a sticker – the card we picked dictated which ‘game’ we played, while the Panini sticker chose which drink would be given as a penalty for any potential infractions.
One particular highlight was ‘Half-Time Oranges’, for which everyone was given a glass of orange juice, picking a Panini at random to decide which national shot was to be added to the OJ. I picked Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini, which prompted a heady mixture of orange and sambuca. Rob was hoisted by his own petard, picking the Republic of Ireland’s Stephen Ward, creating a curdled mixture of orange and Baileys that was every bit as appetising as Ward’s own nose jammed through a blender and served with an olive.
I sent a tweet to Gullit himself, wondering what he made of it all. I suspect an afternoon spent indulging in a drinking game loosely based on himself would be as good a way as any to console himself during his acrimonious divorce. He did not reply. Of course, the game was merely an excuse to get our hands on a load of football stickers…
May word of this game spread like the recipe for Flaming Moe’s, causing bastard spin-offs to spread across the land.