The date is May 25 2005, and Liverpool are playing AC Milan in the Champions League Final. Liverpool’s players trudge off the pitch, three goals down after a first half in which they’ve been comprehensively outclassed. Rather than rousing a collective sense of derring-do with which to inspire a comeback, the players take a more jovial approach after Rafa Benitez dispels the gloom by wafting his hand over his nose in a “eurgh, smelly!” gesture. The lads then decide to pepper each other with light-hearted ‘pelters’, vis a vis everyone ‘having a shitter’. Carra jokes about how he might as well go up front, and everyone laughs, even though he makes the same joke every day in training. Steve Finnan suggests going out in Everton kits for the second half, which is declared ‘proper bantz’ by all. There is no second-half comeback, and Liverpool are trounced 23-0, with Liverpool players taking it in turns to shoot at their own goal. Harry Kewell swaps shirts with Kaka, and amusingly pretends that this means he should be eligible for a winner’s medal, before being dismissed by a paternal ruffle of the hair from a chuckling Paolo Maldini. In a post-match interview, Sami Hyypia sums up his team’s blasé attitude towards their comically bad performance by declaring “You can’t spell Liverpool without ‘LOL'”. Everyone is appalled.