Why always thee? (A rebuttal)

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– Your diet lacks fibre
– You are very bad at most board games
– You’ve seen Inception six times and are still extremely puzzled
– You’ve never been tempted to even try Guinness
– You’ve never had a shave without cutting yourself at least thrice
– It took you a very long time to learn how to tie your shoelaces, a very long time
– When you dance you jerk spasmodically and unattractively, like Ian Curtis watching Tron
– You are an inept and charmless flirt, despite your wealth and youth
– You find Hollyoaks gripping
– You are easily flustered by the basic mechanics of flossing

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2 thoughts on “Why always thee? (A rebuttal)

  1. “When you dance you jerk spasmodically and unattractively, like Ian Curtis watching Tron”

    I’d laugh, but that hits a bit close to home.

    • Oh no, do you have epilepsy? Or, less likely, do you take umbrage as a Joy Division and/or Tron devotee? Either way, I do apologise for any offence.

      (This is exactly the sort of provocative uproar that is fast becoming a Balotelli hallmark.)

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