What is the meaning of this?

All of the below and more…

* Launching fresh perspective into the mixer and shaking its head at what it finds there

* Thrusting the phallus of ignorance into football’s glory hole and emitting naught but cynicism

* Accepting the pre-match pennant of allegory with a firm handshake

* Lumping long balls up to the Big Man Up Top (by which I mean GOD)

* Tutting loudly at the stray piss on football’s toilet seat

* Loudly admonishing the beautiful game’s wastrels and miscreants

* Casting an eye over life’s substitutes bench with barely concealed fury and disappointment

* Bowdlerising the profanity-laden discourse of the working man

* All of the above and more. Not now, but soon, and with misplaced certainty…

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